Dr. Portia Smith, LMFT is a therapist based in Raleigh, NC, providing counseling services to adults, couples, families, Christians and clergy members. She helps people rise above what they are going through to feel a Sense of Peace.
It’s the start of the year and people often have an idea of how they think the year will go. I know I usually do but 2023 showed me things don’t always work out how I think they will. I was called to fast on three consecutive occasions and in my mind, I assumed God was going to open doors for me, my family, my clients, and answer unanswered prayers. It was going to be my year! God was leading me to a greater purpose! It was going to be a pivotal year!
But that’s not what happened, at least not in the way I thought. Last year could be on the list of one of my toughest years. Instead of opening doors, they shut in my face. Instead of answering prayers, I was left with more questions. Things got worse, not better. I asked myself and the Lord, “How can this be? Three months of fasting and praying for me and other people and this is what’s happening?”
It was tough. I had moments of disappointment, anxiety, fear, and depression. But I kept praying, kept talking to God, and He put some things in my heart that I offer to you as we enter this new year.
- Change your expectations. Like I said, I thought 2023 was going to be my year and it wasn’t. That lesson in humility reminded me that life isn’t about a checklist. We are here to learn and grow. Sometimes fasting and praying create a deeper relationship with God. It’s not always about making dreams come true and instead can be about changing your perspective and expectations. I started wondering what did He want for me? How could I better do His will? And the answers arrived, eventually. If situations this year aren’t going how you plan or want them to, change your expectations. Is there a bigger lesson God wants you to learn? Or is He clearing away everything that doesn’t serve you so that you can have the life of your dreams? Get quiet and see what message God has for you.
- Be OK with the uncomfortable moments. Normally, I consider myself to be peaceful and positive – after all, my practice is called Sense of Peace Counseling! But that is not how I would describe myself in 2023. I was filled with self-doubt and confusion. I cried a lot, I expressed anger (safely), and felt the full range of human emotion. That’s not to say there weren’t moments of fun, laughter, and joy because there were. But when you’re in the thick of unexplained and unexpected situations, it’s harder to remember those happy moments. How did I handle all of this? As a woman of faith, I ask how I can bring God into these situations. So I did. I literally cried like He was holding me. It wasn’t a solution, it didn’t change anything, but it was a comfort to know I wasn’t alone. When we get into hard spaces sometimes we want to back away from the Lord but remember that He is a loving, kind God and wants to be there for us in our moments of discomfort. He will meet you where you are in your mess. You can lean on Him to give you strength to get through any situation. God helped me to feel OK during my tough moments and I got through it. If you’re struggling, you will too.
- Remember you have people. Another reason I know you’ll get through whatever is happening in your life is that you have people for support. It can feel so hard to reach out to someone and say, “I’m struggling,” but they want to help you. They want to support you. Think about how touched you felt when someone felt comfortable enough to tell you they were struggling. Let them return the favor. If you don’t have people in your life to turn to, that’s OK. You can ask God to send people in your life who are willing and able to support you in those times of uncertainty and discomfort. You don’t know when it will happen or who it will be, but eventually, He will answer that prayer. And if you’d like professional support, contact me at 919-263-5544 or [email protected]. I’m also here for you.
Last year wasn’t the year I had in mind but that’s OK because I grew as a person and as a therapist. I know what it’s like to have a challenge. That means I’m better able to support my clients because I can say, “I’ve been through something similar.” And maybe that’s what God wanted for me all along.”
Quick Prayer
God, I welcome you to take full control over every area of my life in 2024. I surrender my will, my thoughts, my actions, and my expectations to YOU. Change my heart posture to trust you with every change, disappointment, regret, frustration, drawback, obstacle, and delay that comes my way this year. Believing your word over my problems and situations… “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28 KJV). I love you. In Jesus name, Amen!